The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a good story and you told it well.

What happened next?? This left me wanting to read more.
This was very, very good--excellent writing, lots of "show, not tell", and a character to really care about.

I'm not clear why she is in trouble, nor why she's in a new school--maybe this was a word count issue? No matter--this is some of the best writing I've seen this week.
Crisp writing. I agree with Jan, inspiring writing. I liked the details and your characterization. I too was left with a few questions, BUT excellent job. This was very enjoyable and impressive. God bless.
Your characters are very real, and I could definitely feel your MC's anxiety - and what an encouraging friend. Enjoyed this read.
Oh, Well done!! I haven't been on a school bus for...umm, 'many' years (LoL) but it all came rushing back thanks to your descriptive writing. Great job of using the descriptions to move the story along and to show us. Made me shiver with cold, too! Great job!! Hugs!
This brought back a lot of memories. I requested not to sing a song from "Jesus Christ, Superstar" while I was in HS too. I love that your used French in this. You've done a great job!
Excellent writing! Love the characters, the title, the dialogue. You wrote a memorable piece that's a pleasure to read.
Great work, Yvonne! You're now in advanced!!
A very nice story, well connected and without preaching by the preacher-child. Good ending too, leaves our options open as to what really happened.