The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/07
Nice job of weaving your lesson throughout, and linking it with the baptism decision. You definitely kept my interest (and I don't LIKE football).

Some of your dialog seemed a bit unnatural - may just be me, though.

The last line made me laugh - and is SO typical teen! Love it.
Yeah for dad's that actually talk to their kids, especially about spiritual issues.
10/25/07
This article will appeal to teen boys--there's a definite need for that.

I thought that in a few places, your dialogue sounded a bit stilted--not quite the way real teens talk.

The dad was wise to use a sports illustration to talk to his son. Nicely done.
10/27/07
Excellent analogy. Well done.
10/31/07
I love hearing the conversation between the son and dad. I don't think that happens in many homes, sad to say. Thank you for sharing!
Laury
Love that last line! Heehee, it shows the teenager still inside, but he's taking the right steps with the right guidance. Good job. ^_^
11/01/07
I know of a certain 15 year old in my house who needs to read this! Great writing, great story telling!
11/01/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place! I'm right behind you:)
Laury
11/02/07
Congratulations, Deborah. In addition to your entry placing third in level 2, it also placed 14th overall. The Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 Overall Lists are posted each week in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings Forum of the Faithwriters Message Boards.