The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1004 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Your piece contains a lot of very interesting imagery, and it definitely had me pondering and reflecting. I love when writers are brave and creative enough to achieve that.

I really enjoyed that you were telling a story but also, it seemed, weaving a larger tale. After all that Lucinda went through I still did sense that calm in her at the end. Very good, engaging story. Good luck!
09/21/07
Thought provoking. I especially like the impact of both of them sunbathing after Lucinda rescued the little boy. I found myself pulling for her after the house arrest ... which is a testament to both the story, as well as the character.
Very creative, interesting and well written. Good job!
"Lucinda sensed a hundred eyeballs, like spilled marbles..." I loved that line - you have great imagery throughout this story. Well done.
09/24/07
I really enjoyed this story! Wonderfully vivid, original imagery. My favorite lines: "There was a gaping hole in her stomach and her heart was sliding down and out"; "fiery with smoky black confusion" (no "e" in "smoky," by the way); "A hundred eyeballs, like spilled marbles"; "Her toes were tickled by the tentacles of a retiring wave"; and the alliterations like "the gawkish, the gossipers" and "the curious cringed."

I could see and feel it all!

Great message, too.

Also was drawn in by the title--a personal name in one always sparks my curiosity.
You have a way with words here. There are some very colorful descriptions.
This is a fascinating story. Wow.

I was just a tad confused at the beginning. Is the entire thing in chronological order or was it a flashback from the beginning?

Good job. Good writing.
10/11/07
I loved how you painted the picture with words.