The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I certainly appreciate that you worked hard on this acrostic...

...but I had a really hard time following what point you were trying to make. Maybe just a tad too abstract and disjointed.

Your vocabulary is rich, and your imagery strong--work on making your poetry more accessible to your readers, perhaps?
I agree with Jan -- this is rather complicated and hard to follow. You obviously have some very inspired ideas to share -- try to tighten it up a bit so it's easier for the average reader to grasp. Keep writing -- you have a talent with words.