The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 898 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Good story plot. I enjoyed bill's bold handling of the situation. I would have liked to know more about the setting and the dialect.
09/09/07
Good story! The characters are well developed and the plot held my attention! I like the voice you gave the hooligans. : )
This is good! I love it when someone comes to the rescue, and I laughed when he hoodwinked them into going to look at a canoe.

Good work with the dialect. I do feel, however, that you can set it up with just a few choice clues instead of having to rewrite almost every word. The reader picks up on it right away if it's done right, and then their mind's voice takes it from there.

I'm glad things were about to change on Willow Street. Great job!
09/12/07
Good writing, I was shaking with her fear and the pit remains in my stomach--I've been there. Keep up the writing, be blessed.
I could feel the tension of your MC in this writing and had complete empathy with her. I think you captured the spirit of the bullies very well and I wish there were more heroes like Bill around!
09/14/07
Congratulations, Deborah. Your entry has placed 13th in Level 2. The Lists for the Top 15 in each Level and the Top 40 overall is available in the Weekly Results and Highest Rankings forum of our Faithwriters Message Boards