The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/12/07
Got confused with the height thing, but otherwise it is a delightful story.
07/14/07
I guess you have to be short to understand the "height thing!" I've always loved doing puppets with my own children and with my first grade students. I think it's one of the most effective ways available to keep children's attention so you can present the gospel of Jesus. I love this story. You presented it well and it held my interest. But may I ask what you are doing in this level? Why aren't you at least in "Advanced?" Hmmm?
Catchy first line! I'm not into puppets but your story held my attention with its mother to son "human interest" feature. The dialogue is natural and I liked it the flashback. Just like a mother!
07/14/07
Oh, can I ever relate! I tried this puppet thing once, also. It's just as you described; I thought my arm would fall off, and it's very unnatural to move a mouth from the bottom! Puppeteers are special people with a talent which we, mere mortals, lack. Good story!
07/15/07
I really like this. You made me think one story with your opening line and then took me in a completely different direction — held my interest. I liked your application as well. This line confused me: "I remembered one of his first puppets" Because you wrote a whole paragraph about yourself (I assume) beween your mention of Chris and the "his" in this sentence, I lost the flow and had to think about who you were talking about. Simply using "Chris" again would have helped. Good work.