The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1110 times
Member Comments
This reads like the beginning of a romance novel. I would like to see it expanded. Good job with setting the scene and the dialogue. Well done.
Interesting story and detail. I would love to see your entry expanded.
I really appreciated the change in Kim's spirit from the first paragraph to the last.
God knows exactly how to calm our fears. This is a good tale of emotional healing.
Nice story of the healing of her heart. Wonderful.
Wow! What a journey from adversity to healing and you show how God worked all the way through. A really good Job!
Such a sweet-sad adventure story, but it sounds so true to life. That "last resort" summer job sounds like a gift from God, carrying the narrator over the terrible dark chasm she is forced to endure. I like the satisfying resolution at the end, too. Hopeful is for rejoicing.
I'm glad you brought us on the whole journey through the summer. It didn't seemed rushed to me. Good lessons throughout and very real. Thanks
There is definitely more to this story than meets the eye, right? I loved this, very fun, I really enjoyed the bit with sneaking treats from the cooler. ^_^
I really like the way you draw in the reader, only giving little bits of the MC's situation as we go along, and making us want to find out more. One minor thing I'd like to point out - "Kim sat outside and drank in the peaceful silence" could be read that she sat outside and drank (a drink) in the peaceful silence. I had to read it twice. Good job describing the coming storm and the tornado, and showing her healing over the summer. And of course I love a happy ending! [and thanks for your comments on "Gator in the 'Hooch"! :) ]
I forgot - I wanted to mention how much I liked the ending prayer(I can do this with Your help) reflecting/contrasting the beginning one(I can't do this!) Cat :) :)