The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/26/07
This was an emotionally stirring piece as I did catch a chill at the end. I thought you did a nice job setting the tone and building the tension but I found myself wondering how he managed to escape. One word change : I dreamt that Jared and I were Overall a nice story with an uplifting ending.
04/26/07
I enjoyed reading this. Seems like a good start to a novella -- diving into Mr. Graham's sleaziness, Jared's escape...

Nice job.
04/27/07
I like the idea of a novel too. There's lots of potential here!
Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Great job of writing this story.
Not only well written, but the message is loud and clear!
Now you have whet my curiosity-I want to hear the whole story. Will this become a novella or novel? Keep up the good work, Betty OVerstreet
04/27/07
I really enjoyed the way you painted your details here. At first I thought the story of the husband's capture was far fetched, but it didn't distract at all. My favorite part is the flash of orange from the butterfly.
Good story. I liked how it was divided into parts and how they were brought together at the end. And a good message throughout of hope and enduring love.
Emotional story. Not enough space here to tell it in full. It needs to be expanded. Good job.
I enjoyed this. very descriptive.
04/30/07
I definitely felt as if this was too much story for the word limit! I wanted to know more, so much more--which is a testament to how well you wrote it.
05/01/07
Wow, what a story! Talk about faithful commitment and trust on Jenna's part! Great message and very interesting tale! :)
05/02/07
Great message, great detail and FANTASTIC WRITING!
I'm glad you're going to expand this! The reader can easily connected with the characters, and the twist of Jared being the result of a good guy in the wrong place, was unexpected. I especially like it as a touch of mystery just makes it so much better! ^_^
05/03/07
The whole story was a fascinating, well written read but that beginning was so strong in description, just stellar. It was emotional and lovely. You are a solid writer, great work!