The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really don't understand what's being said here. Maybe it's me. But I would work on this a little. It's probably just a case (and we all have them) of the thoughts not getting to the paper. Keep going. This is just my observation. Others may not agree.
I personally love rhyming poems, so I love the effort here. I agree that it needs some work because there is not a consistant thread for the reader to follow. There are some very creative ideas developing in the middle...keep going!