The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
This is a well written account of a funny shopping experience. I could do that.

In Jesus' Name,

Patricia
03/10/07
I like the way you framed this piece, and the growing realization of what happened. Cute story.
Cute humor story here. Good writing.
03/12/07
I really enjoyed this story--I could relate to it, as it's just the sort of thing that I would do (and often have)!

Even more humor could be added by including dialogue.

Great title--it sparked my curiosity the moment I saw it!
Love this account...so funny!
03/21/07
David - No it could happen to all of us...and frequently does! I like the correlation of starting and ending with the same phrase, it connects things well. Good use of dialogue. The piece flows well and is highly entertaining. I'd love to hear more about your navy days! [email protected]
04/18/07
Interesting story that kept me reading non-stop...and I can understand your embarrassment..it has happened to all of us. Very well written except one word left out in "Would (you) call" at the end. (which I'm sure you noticed yourself) Otherwise, very, very good.