The Official Writing Challenge
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I shudder to think what could have happened to Hayley had the lifeguard not been earlier than usual. Well written and interesting to read.
Anyone with children can identify with the many emotions this story conveys: a child's innocence, a child's disobedience, the fear of being asleep and having something like that happen, the helplessness you feel when this sort of thing happens, the unending gratitude that someone was on their post, and the nagging thought of what it would have been like for the parents: their shock, despair, etc. Good job of stirring up emotions! This is the making of a parental nightmare!
As a parent, this had me really anxious for a good ending! Great story telling :^)