The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1209 times
Member Comments
I really enjoyed your piece. I got a good laugh at the end!!
Please post more of your poems at Poetry and Poets of God:
This was a really fun read. Good meter and rhyme as well. Nicely done.
Absolutely, delightful - goes on my favorites list.
Great fun! Wonderful rhyme and meter, and absolutely delightful. Love the last stanza especially, and the one about "sultan of the sun." Great job!
Wow, another end ryhme poem! I'm certainly getting pleasure from the poems entered this week! I loved the "wit" and it reads smoothly! It captures "Lifeguard" and the ending surprises the reader...Well done!
This was very cute. Good descriptions. I felt like I was on the beach, too.
a delightful peom. great descibtions and perfect ending. i hope you place
I have to agree - this is one of my favorites this week. From the title to the twist at the end this poem was fun to read. Well done.
Just flat out adorable! Loved the title. Most of the time I hesitate to review poems. They are not my forte, but this one was as comfortable to me as an old shoe! It was delightful and I think it could be published someplace. Great job!
Here's an afterthought: what if you didn't start with "I dreamed I was a lifeguard..." and said something else like, "That day I was a lifeguard" or something that didn't label it as a dream, and then the ending could hit people even more. That having been said, I must confess that I didn't notice it said 'I dreamed..' until I went back after I reviewed it! Great job, in any case!
Extremely clever, and great poetry elements. This begs to be illustrated.
LOL - great ending!!! Perfect!
Loved the ending too! And I agree, this would be alot of fun as an illustrated children's book. Cute!
I loved the ending. I kept expecting a rescue, but I think this worked even better focusing on the "fun" aspects of being a lifeguard.
A fun poem with a delightful ending!