The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/19/06
Oh my gosh. Shivers are running up my arms and tears are filling my eyes. The ending had me totally surprised. Powerful piece. Beautifully written. Just one request, it's always much ewasier for online readers when there is a space between each paragraph. Otherwise, this is pretty much perfect.
10/19/06
Excellent twist--now whiy didn't I see that coming? Super!
This is a lovely story. Creating a flashback in such a short story is hard, but it is done very well. To avoid any confusion about this being a flashback I would simplify the introduction to it in the second paragraph by simply saying that's what it was.
10/21/06
A magnificent portrayal of this funeral scene. The surprise ending just gave the story an extra edge. Well done.
10/22/06
Oh, my. I have tears in my eyes. How amazingly touching this is! Extremely well written!
Wow, you brought tears to my eyes. Well done!
10/26/06
Wow! You take the reader right to the scene. I hung on every word. I love the surprise twist at the end - it gave me chills! Powerful!
10/29/06
Was wondering what this had to do with the topic until I got to the end! You sucked me right in. Well done. Well written with a great twist.