The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1295 times
Member Comments
This really made me think! I was wondering how she was going to die - you definitely surprised me at the end! There was a point when I felt confused about the regular narrative seeming to "mix in" with the italicized part. Overall, however, I found this quite effective and the italicized portions were especially enjoyable. Thanks for writing!
I enjoyed the way you mixed the two aspects of the story - a narrative about the valley's past, and the present situation of the young character.
Powerful! Loved the mingling of the past and present and how they effected each other.
What a wonderful approach to valley. You kept me interested the whole way through, wondering how she might die, physical or die to herself. A valley can be nothing more than a rut that says, "We've always done it this way and don't you dare change things UP." Loved it.
Loved the dialogue, description,and theme in this piece. Very creative.
A most creative use of the prompt Valley. The writing is smooth and the dialoge realistic. Nice work!
With her "chewed off nails," you have created an endearing character in Kelsey. She's human, vulnerable, curious, and a perfect balance in opposition to the setting which remains unruffled by time and change.
I enjoyed your creative approach to the topic. I found this to be thought-provoking. The idea of a place where everyone does the same thing their whole life without ever questioning or wanting more is not only sad but frightening. They miss out on the truth. I especially liked the italicized part at the beginning and at the end. The twist about her dying was also really good.
I really really enjoyed this! I loved the repeated phrases throughout the piece and the twist at the end. This was very well written. Great work! Thanks for taking us on your detour.
Wow! I thought this was fantastic! (don't like the gross parts but ...) I loved it! GREAT writing!