The Official Writing Challenge
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Yikes! This is scary stuff. Good job of extablishing three very real characters in so few words.

Take a look at your 3rd paragraph and consider re-working some of the "you" and "your" references in describing the little boy.

Hope you write a sequel some day.
Whoa...this gave me chills. You worked the reader's emotions really well. Very vivid and the characters were well developed.

It's so sad, so real. Jan's right though...I want a seguel!
This is terrific writing. You know how to grab your readers and keep them hooked on your story.