The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/15/06
This has the beginning of a good article, but it didn't seem to flow real well. It was jumpy and hard to follow. With refinement and a rewrite, I think you could turn this into an encouraging article.
04/15/06
Good story. Held my attention. No doubt God can use us in every situation and circumstance if we just remain open to following God's will for us. Keep writing.
04/16/06
One of the things you might change to improve the flow of this piece is to keep everything in the same tense: either past or present, but not both in the same story. A heart-warming story; I hope some day we find out how it ends!