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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: FERHOODLE (confuse or mix-up) (03/03/16)
Slow Motion World

Epileptics I hear don’t like to be called epileptics. Rather they deem themselves chosen ones gifted with some form of artistic talent. These gifted people can enjoy the fullness of their ability without the distractions of a job or car payments or maybe some other things that most of us take for granted. I should not speak negatively concerning these “savants” but admittedly, I am somewhat envious of their claims, though the reality of the condition I am not envious of at all.

I am epileptic, or whatever the politically correct term is. I was artistic as a child. I believe most of my talent was given me via the confidence-building cadence of my mother and her usual Christmas art sets with which I could hone in my ability with. That now has fallen away and if I want to draw or paint or even write then it will require just as much work as it will any other “ungifted” soul.

I also do not want to be called an epileptic; I just want to be called normal. I have this issue where I believe that I will be perceived differently if people know about my disease. People would be afraid of hanging out with me, they would wonder about me, so I don’t bother to let it become part of the conversation. I do not fancy the idea of others thinking that I am stupid. As much as I try to hide it, there are moments when I simply cannot and these moments leave me wondering.

Here is one such moment, please enter into my mind with me:

It is a gathering in my family’s honor; more than sixty people are there in our small church basement. The tables and chairs are set up. Decorations are adorned everywhere, food is spread out on the countertop and people are filing in. I am trying to greet everyone and welcome them to our baby shower. I see a close friend walk in. He is not an elderly man but very much my senior. He is retired out of the military and is with his girlfriend and daughter. They come bearing gifts so I think to myself, “shall I hug him or, as usual, just shake his hand?” I decide to lean in for a big happy hug; we embrace with smiles. What I have not predetermined is how to greet his company. His girlfriend is quiet; although, she is my friend as well, she is somewhat reserved when it comes to the physical touch. I do not want to be rude and withhold a hug but I don’t want to offend her either. All this is running through my mind and the living world is in slow motion. As I face her someone squeezes behind me and pushes me forward. At that moment something in my brains explodes and the slow motion world rockets into a blur and the friends that I had been welcoming are now gone and off meeting others. My heart is beating quickly and beads of sweat dot my forehead. I walk to my seat trying hard to remember what happened but my thoughts and memories are fragmented. I have a glimpse of his daughter’s hand outstretched toward mine but I just walk away ignoring her. That saddens me greatly because I only want to show respect for his family. The interaction with his girlfriend and I never returns to my memories.

“What happened I wonder?” I know what happened in my brain but not outside in the real world. I pray I haven’t offended anyone. This has happened to me many times and as far as I can tell I go through the motions. I am conscious and maybe completely aware of and hopefully even eloquent in my actions. Then the explosions happen and it’s all a blur. I wonder if I become an offensive zombified mummy, or a not so intelligent person who just leaves a long pause in the conversation. Maybe it would be easier if people did know the truth. Somehow I may morph into an eccentric genius rivaling Van Gogh and William Shakespeare with nothing but time on my hands!

What I do know is that all good things come from God and the devil is the author of confusion and every evil work. Those who truly know me know who I am, truly.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Bonnie Bowden 
03/11/16
I have several friends who have epilepsy. A couple of them have had so many seizures that they decided to undergo brain surgery. I am sorry to hear that you suffer from this illness.

I thought most savants were born with autism. I was unaware that it was also common with people who have epilepsy.

I do know that God has gifted you with a special gift.
C D Swanson 
03/11/16
Thank you for sharing this powerful and incredibly intimate piece and all that implies in terms of epilepsy...it touched my heart.

God bless~
Pat Small
03/12/16
It was a bit confusing in the beginning when you talked about epileptics as though you were an outsider. Then you reveal that you are an epileptic. Maybe it's just me, but I was a little put off by it. I was enlightened when you got into the details.
Bonnie Bowden 
03/17/16
Congratulations, Jeremy, on placing highly commendable in the Beginners Category. Thank you for sharing.
Trudy Newell
03/22/16
Hi Jeremy - Thanks for sharing from your heart about what it's like to be epilectic.

You have a real ability to put things into words. God will use this. May He bless as you hone your writing skills.

Congratulations on your HC.