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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cat and Dog (09/04/14)
Remnar snarled and bared his teeth, watching the shadow under the door pass by. He didn't like the neighbor guy, to say the least. I was embarrassed, knowing the man could hear the racket Remnar made through the door, he wanted to tear him apart. I felt guilty at my sweet lab's behavior, even scolding him, trying to drag him away. Most of the time, I couldn't. Remnar stood his ground, every muscle twitching and quivering. Sally, my cat, would know something was wrong and would wrap herself around me and try to comfort me, in her silky feline way. I thought my pets were mad and needy. My neighbor never lingered, and never made eye contact.

A few weeks later at work, a friend tossed the newspaper in front of me. My heart felt like it skipped a beat. On the cover was my neighbor, caught for armed robbery and rape.

Many things went through my head, but that evening when I got home, I sat staring at my cat and dog and knew there was more to this world then met the eye, that even some animals had more sense than I had. I thanked God for my pets. I now respect their judgment on (most) things. And I've learned, that there is more than what meets the eye out there.
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This article has been read 958 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
09/12/14
Wow- This story although short on words, it was long on meaning and depth.

Well done. Animals have great instincts, just like children.

God bless~
Olawale Ogunsola
09/13/14
A very good example of the benefits of having pets around you. Most times, they see what man cannot see. Only a careful "listener" will understand their language.
A very good take on the topic.
Toni Babcock 
09/15/14
Good story! Animal behavior is always a favorite for readers. Take another look at this sentence: 'I was embarrassed, knowing the man could hear the racket Remnar made through the door, he wanted to tear him apart.'
It would be good to make it absolutely clear who wanted to tear who apart. Perhaps you could put a period after the word door, and start a new sentence as 'Remnar wanted to tear him apart.'
Lindsey Ruby 
09/15/14
Thank you! :) I would take that first comma out, I agree.
Larry Whittington
09/15/14
In many ways Gods creatures can read the weather and even earthquakes before men can. I suppose that that is true that some animals can read human hearts before we see the evidence.

Interesting story. Nicely told.
Rachel Barrett
09/15/14
Wow, that was a nice twist I wasn't expecting. And sometimes brevity in writing can have just as much of an impact as length and more words.

It seems to me that the final sentence might read more smoothly without the comma after "learned". But that might be just me. :)

I especially liked the part that went "Sally, my cat, would know something was wrong and would wrap herself around me and try to comfort me, in her silky feline way. I thought my pets were mad and needy." Great visual and description!

Nice way of showing how animals do have very powerful and often spot-on instincts (or is it more than instinct?). I've got a horse who's that way. Wouldn't trade her for anything.

Nice!
Lindsey Ruby 
09/15/14
Thank you for reading and giving feedback, it means so much to me!

I agree it would read much better with some changes. (I'm getting buggy not being able to fix things. Ha!)

This is what I learned, don't wait until Thursday morning to get something done.

Verna Cole Mitchell 
09/15/14
You've told your story very well. I expect you'll be out of beginners soon.
Sheldon Bass 
09/15/14
Wow, unexpected ending, which is always a good thing. You could have elaborated with a little more description of the two pets. I am wondering what was in those paragraphs you deleted. Overall good story. Keep up the wonderful work!
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
09/16/14
Wow. What a sober compelling read. Excellent.
Noel Mitaxa 
09/22/14
Brief and restrained depiction, as you could have easily fallen for endowing your pets with almost literary skills instead of respecting their instincts. Your reflective summary also shows great perspective, so I'd be surprised not to see your name soon listed at higher FW levels.
Every blessing to you as your writing ministry develops.