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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Dead End (02/06/14)
I hadn’t intended to give away my last couple of dollars. Yet there he was: unavoidable and obviously in great need. Who was I to deny him this small amount that could mean life or death? A gust of wind threatened to whisk away my offering even as I extended my hand to the stranger, whose dark eyes mirrored stories of sadness.

I mused as I walked on into the cold, frustrated by my own increasing lack, which had become equally unavoidable of late. Like the biblical bag of money with holes, any reserves I amassed quickly spilled out, leaving me empty. An unseen hand was always blocking my way, a hand whose owner was maddeningly indiscernible to me. Was God responsible for these financial woes, or the devil? I knew with certainty it could not be me. I had tried every alternative I could think of, but without success.

Plagued even by my faith, I wondered if perhaps God was disappointed in my character – I’d never been a stellar Christian – and was punishing me in order to somehow promote my growth. But I had enough faith to know that this idea conflicted with the Sunday-School teachings of God’s goodness. So on better days, I attributed my downturn to a demonic curse of the devil, who was said to hate all believers.

I could never settle this internal debate, always feeling like the “double-minded man” the apostle James spoke of. Unfortunately, I had more than enough knowledge of the Scriptures to condemn myself for not measuring up! Why did it seem as though the wonderful promises of the Bible were only spiritual, not practical? Jesus had multiplied food; why couldn’t I? Where were the “greater things” He said I’d do?

I certainly hadn’t done anything great lately. A few friends, pitying my family’s condition, would send token gifts of food or money for the holidays – and then go on with their own expensive lives as though everything were fine again. To add insult to injury, if I perchance had the boldness (or the desperation!) to share how difficult things were, these same six-figure earners would commiserate, agreeing in one breath how tough times were and divulging in the next their upcoming plans for a vacation in the Bahamas. “We really shouldn’t be taking this trip, what with all the economic uncertainty - but, well, you know…” And off they would go in their newly-purchased swimsuits to “get away from it all.”

So I found no comfort and little support from my friends. God seemed distant, promising great things but rarely delivering. Advice was plentiful but it all felt wrong. How could I escape this financial dead end? Was I destined to live in poverty all my life? Had God designed me to be some sort of modern-day Job, suffering interminably and losing everything I had?

A shiver stirred me as I continued, still brooding. Perhaps I had not been seeking God first, so “all these things” had not been added to me. It seemed a plausible solution. Maybe He would show me some horrible hidden sin, a spiritual jackpot that would set me free.

I knew I could not last much longer, couldn’t bear to look at the growing number of bills at home that needed payment, the crumbling plaster on the walls, the disconnected phone service. How could I pay so much debt when I couldn’t feed my own children? A mountain of embarrassment buried me as I tried desperately to keep up with a culture that seemed to be forcing me out.

Sighing, I admitted the truth. I had only one hope left, and that was God himself. I had just given my last dollar to someone who needed it more, like the widow’s mite. I had done the right thing. Now it was up to God to be my provider, because I could not provide for myself. The only thing I possessed was my integrity, and I knew somehow that this could not be taken from me.

Pulling my coat up tighter around my neck, I turned and walked on into the chilling winds, not knowing what was ahead, but clinging gingerly to the hope I still had.


(Fiction)
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This article has been read 479 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
02/13/14
Powerful entry with an excellent message. God is our provider, and He will bring all of which we need.

I loved this story, it was so well written (I'm curious as to why you started in this level?)

Very well done, and very moving. Thank you so much for sharing.

God bless~
Toni Hammer
02/14/14
Very solid, well written story. I imagine you won't be Level 1 for long with such talent.
LaCretia Peters
02/14/14
Great article. Beautifully written and very thought-provoking.
Toni Babcock 
02/15/14
Now I know you are a real writer - all that internal conflict, applying the conscience to the "inner inquisition" - checking and re-checking motives; the constant debating, musing, engaging in self-doubt and roiling self evaluation... this is brutal isn't it? Keep writing.
Amelia Brown 
02/17/14
I really appreciate the MC telling it has it is. What was revealed, is what most of us might think about... but never say. I like this line very much: "Maybe He would show me some horrible hidden sin, a spiritual jackpot that would set me free."

The part about you being some kind of modern day job, I didn't quite understand.

But this is a nice piece that display strong emotions, and even though the MC didn't get her bills paid, she walked away with hope. Keep writing.
Larry Whittington
02/17/14
I am glad this was only a fictional piece.

Contentment is the joy in either want or plenty.

One additional verse to consider "the poor you will have with you always". Some Christians are poor.

The plight that Job had was allowed by God to teach several lessons.

And yes, our trials are for us to learn the lessons God knows we need. James 1.

When we pick and choose the areas in life to line up with God's word but refuse others, we are not seeking the kingdom first.

Each reader should be examining their own live before God.

This article was easy to read. I didn't catch any errors as I read it quickly.