The Official Writing Challenge
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God's promises and his commands give light to our lives.
07/23/13
Lovely devotional and right on topic. This was a joy to read. Thank you.

God bless~
Your opening line grabbed my attention immediately and made me eager to keep reading.

You may want to consider telling the story from the first person singular (I instead of we) It's a little thing, but I think it will pull the reader in and help her to relate more to the MC. Also I think you may be surprised over the number of times you used the word control. I realize some may have been for impact, but switching it up sometimes can be good too. For example something like this: Sometimes things just happen: parents get divorced or the doctor tells you that you have a horrible disease. We have no power over whether it rains or the sun shines.

Overall, though I think you have a well-written piece that many people will relate to. It made me stop and reminisce about some of my past choices. Oh how wonderful that Jesus is there and gives me the strength I need. You reassure the reader about the need to have faith and you do it in a kind and loving way. Your words touched my heart and I feel stronger for having read them.