ODE TO A GOOD BOY | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: ODE TO A GOOD BOY | Previous Challenge Entry
By Lisa Fowler
11/23/10
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ODE TO A GOOD BOY

Mother’s on the telephone.
Once again I’m alone.
She mouths to me: “Be a good boy.”

What else would I be?
Christmas is coming you see.
And Santa is watching my moves.

I hope he doesn’t remember
About the day in November
When I tied my sister up with a rope.

Or that time in July
I got grandma’s hair dye
What’s the big deal? The cats are alright.

Or the cold day in January
When I gave commentary
On dog pooping, in Sunday School class.

I don’t understand why
Aquarium fish can’t fly
When thrown from the top of a roof.

Or what happens to slugs
When they’re sealed up in jugs
And thrown to the river to swim?

The hamsters are fine
Though tied up with twine
And hung from the oak tree out back.

Mom got so worked up
When I took coffee cups
Lined them up and played “bowling alley.”

I didn’t know they would break
Or that the whole house would shake
If firecrackers exploded from the roof.

I try being a good boy
But it’s all a decoy
For the real me that’s hiding inside.

Bad is down to the bone
Can’t be hidden under cologne
Even the good stuff that my grandpa wears.

Daddy says being good
Is like sawing dry wood
With a spoon in the middle of the ocean.

But today I will try
Not being the bad guy
Especially since I know Santa is watching

I’ll try with my might
And I’ll be alright
Until the ring a ding - ding of the phone,

Then I’ll be alone
And my history has shone
It’s the worst time for being a good boy.

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