The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1063 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow, this is full on entrigue. You had me holding my breath in disbelief. Hope this is part of a continued story! Good job in showing the relationship between the sword and pen.
The second paragraph confused me a little. I couldn't figure out who was passing the note to whom until I read a little farther along. Otherwise I really enjoyed the suspense and danger in this story. Good job.
04/17/10
Lots of action, adventure, intrigue--good atmosphere.

I read this story three times, and I'm still not clear what exactly was happening, though. I feel as if I'm missing an essential component or two--but it's very possible that it's just some background knowledge I just lack.

This definitely reads like part of a very exciting novel!
It was an exciting story, but I found myself having to stop several times and reread to understand. perhaps the word count limited you. I still enjoyed the suspense, the great details and the general feel of the story. Horrific, about the baby; but a good parable to show how God sacrificed His Son so that we may live to tell the story.