Gray Matter Puree | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Gray Matter Puree | Previous Challenge Entry
By Anita Neuman
08/06/05
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I used to be a smart girl. I have fond memories of being a respected co-worker and having my advice sought and followed. I have vague recollections of participating in intelligent conversations about classic literature, market trends and foreign affairs. I even have my old transcripts as proof that I earned high grades in school.

Unfortunately, my brain has turned to mush.

I have been afflicted with a common ailment which I refer to as MMM (Motherhood Mental Meltdown). Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that motherhood is, in itself, an affliction. However, anecdotal evidence, if not scientific proof, suggests that MMM is a phenomenon that is suffered by mothers all over the world. Common symptoms include memory loss, clumsiness, mental blackouts, forgetfulness and general unintelligence.

I, myself, have experienced all of these symptoms (and more that I can’t remember right now). I regularly forget the names of people whom I have known for twenty years. I stumble through conversations, unable to think of the right word and then forgetting what I was talking about anyway. I spill things on a daily basis. And twice, I have left the video store without the video that I had just rented.

Although scientists have been unable to pinpoint the cause of MMM, many theories have been explored. There are some theories which link the severity of symptoms to the number of children to whom a woman has given birth. However, the prevalence of MMM in adoptive mothers has proven this theory false. Another theory blames sleep-deprivation. I can personally dispute this one, as my children have been sleeping through the night for several years now and I am still symptomatic.

I would suggest the theory that because most mothers do not get regular vacations from motherhood, they do not have adequate opportunities to be refreshed and rejuvenated. Just as most employees get time off between shifts and at least two weeks of paid vacation time every year, mothers need a chance to step away, to focus on something else, and to regain their perspective. For many of us, an annual two-week vacation away from the children just isn’t a feasible option. However, smaller retreats are often possible: a weekend away, a relaxing massage, a cup of tea, or an hour in a hammock with a great book.

Even if those small luxuries are beyond your grasp, there are several other MMM remedies that are readily available. Caffeine can be very helpful in jump-starting your brain on a daily basis. Cocoa beans (available in many forms) can preserve sanity, if consumed out of sight of the children. And ginseng tablets are purported to improve memory retention. I, personally, wouldn’t know; I keep forgetting to take them.

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