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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
"Itsy!" Mrs. Mouse squeaked. "You eat too much cheese! How many times do I have to tell you cheese is high in cholesterol and bad for your health? You wouldn't care if I became widowed in my prime, would you?" Her frustration boiled over while Mr. Mouse contentedly scraped cheese remnants from his whiskers.

"Bitzy you worry too much. Life's too short to be fretting all the time. Relax and live a little," returned Mr. Mouse.

"Well, if you don't care, maybe I shouldn't either. Why should I be left to raise Eenie, Meeny, Miney and Moe without you? Maybe I should start stealing too and if I break my neck, it'll be your fault. Then maybe you'll be sorry!" Bitzy railed on and on only to realize Itsy's gentle snoring accompanied his after-dinner nap.

Angrily Bitzy stomped out of the haven of their immaculate home in search of the nearest mousetrap challenge. She couldn't match Itsy's legendary ability to steal cheese from mousetraps yet annoyance drove her on.

A sudden blur of white fur announced the untimely arrival of the feline foe. Instinctively she raced for cover but not before the cat's claw raked her fleeing backside. Silently she slunk to the far end of their abode, preparing to lick her wounds in shamed silence. At Itzy's approach she shrank further into the shadowy corner. But as he neared she read only concerned love in his eyes.

"Dearest Bitzy" he soothed." I'm sorry I upset you. Don't do anything so reckless like that again. I promise I'll cut down on my cheese consumption if it means that much to you." He snuggled close to assist her in licking the torn flesh.

"Forgiven?"
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This article has been read 1473 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/21/08
Cute!
Marlene Austin
02/22/08
Great example of the topic. Good job. :)
Seema Bagai 
02/22/08
Cute story. I could see you writing more adventures based on these characters. Keep writing.
Nancy Quinn
02/22/08
Oh, what a cute story! Yes, I too can see great potential for more adventures of these two. Keep up the great work! God bless :)
Yvonne Blake 
02/22/08
Cute! I wasn't sure how it related to the toic, but you used your dialogue very well.
Add a little more description and action and this could be a great children's story.
Keep writing.
Joshua Janoski
02/23/08
Haha. This story is fun, and it made me laugh. I could just picture the wife mouse nagging the husband mouse about his eating habits. Very clever.

I saw the topic in there. Good job! I'd like to see more of these characters in future stories. :)
Patrick Whalen
02/25/08
Quite an entertaining tale. Just a little extra time spent on the story might have helped add to the reader's enjoyment.

I would have given the cat a name and perhaps given a short history of the past interaction between the mice and the cat.
Jacquelyn Horne
02/26/08
Very cute! I love stories from the animal's POV.
LauraLee Shaw
02/26/08
Your writing style is very advanced. Lots of poetic sentences with creative descriptions and alliteration throughout. Though I can see the topic some, it is always a plus when you REALLY nail the central theme and make it very obvious to the reader. This is a brilliant sentence:
A sudden blur of white fur announced the untimely arrival of the feline foe.
Chely Roach
02/28/08
ARLENE! Congrats on the highly commended nod. You deserved it...what a great illustration of the proverb. Nice to have a FV friend already here at FW:)
Marlene Austin
02/28/08
Congratulations, Arlene.