The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 804 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/22/07
Great little object lesson. I would have loved to hear some of that conversation between the sisters - would liven up this piece just a bit. Keep writing!
Very good story. The transition to the last paragraph could be smoother. Perhaps with one of the sisters or the mother voicing the lesson. I could picture the scene very well. Nice writing.
I enjoyed your writing! I especially liked the fact that you took a common occurrence like going to church to parallel what happened on the ship with Jesus. This could be expanded with dialogue added. Great job!
Would love to see this expanded a bit but the lesson behind it is great! Wonderfully told story. God bless you this week!