Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Desire (01/17/05)
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TITLE: My Heart's Desire | Previous Challenge Entry
By Carol Dee Meeks
01/20/05 -
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For forty years, I’ve craved and longed for acceptance from my
mother-in-law. She is domineering and hard to get along with,
and she will go to any length to get her way. I’ve watched my
husband in agony trying to stand up to her, and when he does, it is
my fault. It is my heart’s desire to get out of this rut with her.
My husband is the oldest of three sons. One has never married.
One has married three times. In between his marriages, she latches
her hooks into him a little deeper. His wives catered to her, except
one, and they still visit with each other from time to time.
Sometimes I envy their relationships.
It was my heart’s desire to call her MOM, since my mom died before
my wedding day. But when the occasions rolled around, I could not do
it. I’ve read the book of Ruth many times and struggled with my lack of
love or faith or compassion….for my husband’s mother. How wonderful
it would be to feel “your people are my people, wherever you go, I’ll go.”
The relationship Naomi and Ruth shared is priceless, one I feel I may never
experience in my lifetime, but I would love to experience this same type of
love Naomi and Ruth shared.
We are told in Matthew 5:44, “love your enemies, bless them that curse
you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use
you, and persecute you.” This verse has recently touched me in a new way.
Over the years, I have prayed for her but told God, “I’m doing this because
in Matthew 5:44, you tell me to do so. Please let me pray for her because I
want to, not because I have to.” Perhaps I’ve mellowed in my old age, but I
think I see a change in her.
Prayer does help. Prayer is changing the situation. She just celebrated her 84th
birthday, and I think she has decided she needs to change, for she apologized
to me for SOME of her past actions. Now I have to accept that apology with
kindness. My heart’s desire may be coming late in life, and I’d love that. I
want to be her friend.
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