The Official Writing Challenge
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Too bad Mel didn't get the message! And unfortunately that is all too typical. I'd like to see you make this longer - what you have is good stuff.
I agree with Lynda--this little piece shows a lot of potential. With additional material, you could highlight the gap between your narrator's thoughts about God, and Mel's prattling. This story shows that you have a flair for writing and for the ironic.
A 'great' start! I would've like to read more.
I feel your frustration. How sad it is to live in a great world made by a great God and never notice.