Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)
- TITLE: Ashton's Life
By lynn rodgers
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Ashton often thought about how to end it all as she was now. “Why haven’t you killed yourself already?” she asked herself.
“I’m scared,” she replied.
“Of what? It’s not like anyone will miss you.”
“Worse than the pain of screwing up everyone’s lives?”
“No, nothing hurts more than that”
“She's crazy, all she ever does is mope around and feel sorry for herself. And she wonders why Mom is so sick…” Ashley, Ashton’s older sister, interrupted the mental argument. She listened in on the phone conversation for a few seconds.
“Hello, what are you doing? Focus here. Why are you still alive? What’s the point of your life? Look there’s the bathroom, just take a bath and drown. Or you could go in the kitchen and slit your wrists. Or you could swallow everything in the medicine cabinet No one will notice, no one will care.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know,” tears streamed down her face, “I know I’m a mess. I know I can’t get anything right. Man, I can’t even manage sanity; I’m arguing with myself. You win. You win, you win. What am I waiting for? It’s all downhill from here.”
Ashton got up to go to her parent’s restroom. She got to the door knob and sank to the floor in a pile of painful tears.
“God, please stop me. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to die. I know I have to so Mom can be happy but I don’t want to. God give me another way. Take my pain, my burden, and set me free. God, please.”
“Wait, what are you doing I thought the plan was to die. Not beg to some God that doesn’t love you. Remember nobody loves you, you’re nothing,” that menace in her head said.
The arms of love wrapped around her, “I love you. And you are worth more than most precious stone. Do not believe the lies of the deceiver. You are my child and your mother’s child and your father’s child and we all love you greatly,” love whispered in her ear. Ashton believed it and it stuck. The lies were still there but they were weak and nothing compared to love saying “I love you.” Ashton was full of life and did not want to lose one speck of it.
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