The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/10/06
This starts with such a powerful story, and ends with some powerful, great points, but it does kind of feel like two different pieces stuck together.

Also, in your story, watch shifts of tense, POV, and time frames - it seemed to jump around some which made it distracting.

This is a powerful message, it just needs a little more editing/consistency.

I really appreciated reading your message though, good writing and thanks for sharing!
06/12/06
Good, in-depth message with a ring of truth to it. You stayed well within the topic and your message is received clearly. Watch for overuse of commas.
06/14/06
This woman faces a tough situation, but she leaned on God and felt peace. I have an aquaintance going through this same experience, and amidst the complete overturning of her life, she, too, has felt peace--only by giving the situation to God. Your story, then, does indeed parallel real life.

I really liked the last two paragraphs. They are well-written and bring up excellent points. I especially like the slippery floor analogy.

Overall, I think this is a good devotional. A fine job!