The Official Writing Challenge
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Ezcellent account of Joseph's life in the first person.Pat
What a brillaint story from Joseph's point of view. Well done!
Enjoyed this look at Joseph. Good job!
Really, really well written. I like your writing style a lot--it's quite unique.
Nice retelling of a classic story. Very good! One thing, use your great verbal ability to really describe what the senses experience. You told us a lot ... switch that to describing what your protag is experiencing. You've got the ability to do it! Good job!
I also enjoyed this story. Very good job.
This is a very well written and nicely polished story. It started out being descriptive, setting the scene in the dry dusty place but it changed to become more a compentary of what was happening, though still very well written, it didn't put the reader in Josephs place anymore, they were outside reading in. That is what the other commenters were talking about when they said show rather than tell, and describe using all 5 senses to put the reader in the place of the main character.
That is the way to write a story that really grabs the reader. You obviously have a lot of writing talent with excellent word choice and vocab and polished style, and you have a huge potential for writing fantastic stories. Stick around Faith Writers (esp. on the message boards) and you will pick up some good tips for improving your story telling. That's what I am doing and my writing has improved really quickly from tips of those like Maxx and other masters. Keep at it, you will be advancing to higher levels soon.
I loved it. Wonderful. I especially liked the line: "Pits and prisons transformed themselves into pathways leading to a place of prominence." Good job.
Very good. Not even a grammatical error that I could detect. You easily show how the smallest thing that happens in our lives, is connected to our greatest destiny. Good interpretation of the life of Joseph.
You packed a lot in a little space - well done :) A nice retelling.
The title drew my attention. The first few lines carried me onward. The Thread wove the story.