Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)
- TITLE: My Strength
By Carol Shaffron
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I come boldly before Your throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help. Help, Father, I am desperate! I will NOT be crushed by this oppression, Lord. Lift me up, O Lord My God. Lift me up.
This oppression is too heavy for me, Father.
I feel as if I am suffocating, God. Help me, Please!
I take full responsibility for my actions and I beg your forgiveness Lord for my sins. I beg Your mercies, O God. I beg Your mercies.
God I make no excuses for stealing, for agreeing with the lies and justifying it. I knew on the deepest level it was wrong, but I did it anyway, Lord. How could I be so foolish, so stupid. How could I let myself imagine there would be no consequences…
Was it because I saw no consequences come to those who stole my dignity? who beat me down and destroyed my personality and my ability to believe I was worth anything? Who devastated me emotionally so I was not even able to work for years? Who don’t even recognize now the damage they did to my soul?
God, I beg You have mercy on me. I may deserve this, but I beg, Lord for redemption, O Mighty Redeemer.
God, I am so terrified! I don’t know how I’m ever going to dig out of this mess.
Jesus said, “Ask and you shall receive.” Father, even if I started a job today...
I am asking YOU for at the least $25,000 to pay off the debts and bills before me. God I really, really, really need that much. You sent Your Apostle to go to the mouth of a fish for money to pay taxes. God, FATHER, I DESPERATELY NEED A MIRACLE HERE. I AM TRUSTING YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART!
Where is the miracle of finance ALL YOUR PROPHETS SPOKE ABOUT if I would plant my seeds? I brought my tithes, I gave you my firstfruits and my Passover offerings, Lord.
You say in YOUR WORD, “Believe my prophets, so shall ye prosper.”
If getting calls from the loan company and letters and calls from the collection agency and from a lawyer's office is prosperity…
I brought my tithes, Lord. I brought YOU my firstfruits! I brought YOU my PASSOVER offering Lord. Where is my financial breakthrough as they said?
I don’t understand Lord…
God YOU know how hopelessness kept me bound and despair kept taunting me and hounding me with the lies that suicide would solve all my problems. I guess I can be thankful that I thought I was even too incompetent to pull that off!
I can’t even cry…
Crying did me no good when I was a child…
What am I supposed to do, God? What am I supposed to do? I put my trust in YOU completely. And the bills just piled up higher and higher and higher…
I cannot see my way out, God. I cannot see my way out…
But I will rejoice in YOU, O Lord, God my Savior. You alone are my God; You alone are my Life, my strength…
Yes, that’s it! “…the joy of the Lord is my strength! …the joy of the Lord is MY STRENGTH!! …the joy of the LORD IS my strength!!!
Father God, I ask that You anoint my hands to write what You would have me write and that out of my belly will flow rivers of living waters as YOU have promised in Your Word to those who believe in YOU. I beseech Thee O Lord, that You be my strength and fill my heart with such JOY that the oppression of the enemy to suck me back into that deep, dark depression from which YOU delivered me will simply dissipate like so much ash blown away in a rainstorm.
I will Praise You O Lord, with my hands lifted up. I will Praise You O Lord with a heart of thanksgiving. I will Praise You O Lord with my hands lifted high…
The JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH…
Note: All scriptures are paraphrased from my own memory and the drama is real.
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