The Official Writing Challenge
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05/25/06
Oh yes, you got it right on, Joy is walking with God and how well you described it. Blessings.
05/26/06
This tells a very good message. I like the way you tell of loving Jesus. Nice job :)
05/27/06
How awesome that you begin each day with God by your side. Such joy awaits us all when we get quiet and listen to our Lord. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt message.
05/28/06
You painted a beautiful picture with your words. The joy we find in walking with Him! Good job!
05/28/06
This reminds me of the beautiful od hymn that says "...and He walks with me and He talks with me..." Nice job.
05/29/06
I love how personal and down-to-earth this is. Great job!
This is a very cool concept, and your passion comes through easily.

I would've liked to have seen actual dialogue with descriptions of what is around you. What do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? What does His voice sound like? How do you feel when arrive at school? Etc.

Work on your editing a bit--some misspelled words (breath, not breathe, etc.)
His and Him should be capitalized when writing of God.

You've packed a lot of power and passion into one paragraph. Expand it. You could have an exceptionally strong and impacting piece.
06/08/06
on the dialogue i can't creatate what wasn't there. you can tel somwone something without talking. an i making sence?