The Official Writing Challenge
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Sweet story. I was telling my children just tonight that God acres about all the seemingly trivial concerns of children, like the dath of a pet, or riding without stabilisers! I found the first three paragraphs a bit confusing - I think there needs to be a touch more explanation, or slight re-ordering. But good work.
You are a good storyteller. Your train of thought is sometimes just a bit hard to follow. My suggestion: let someone else read, outloud, what you write. Between the two of you, you will spot those areas needing to be reworked, edited, you know: the drudgery of the rewrite! God bless your efforts!