Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)
TITLE: The Signature
By Joyce Sykes
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Holding on a little tighter, my legs force the rocking chair to continue it’s steady pace. A quick glance at the clock reveals the minutes ticking by faster than the speed of light. It would only be a short time now.
Thoughts flickering in and out of my mind each presenting a new course of action, yet the result is the same. There would be no magical wand or prince charming riding in to save the day. Even as the chair continues galloping in one spot, I know deep within I have no other alternative. I have made my decision and the course set.
‘Lord, I have really made a mess of my life; but this is so hard! I know this is what I have to do. Please, I need Your strength,’ breathing the quick prayer under my breath.
‘Are You are still listening, Lord?’ Slowly, a quiet resolve fills my spirit with an inner strength from the Lord, reassuring me the decision is correct.
The rapid knock on the door only confirms my fear. It’s time!
“Come in,” as I continue staring toward the small bundle on my lap.
“Hello Virginia. How are you?”
“I’m okay, I guess.”
“This is Mrs. Moore. She‘s here to help me.”
Glancing briefly at Mrs. Moore and then turning my gaze back to the woman busily sorting papers in her brief case. Within seconds holding multiple sheets of paper, Mrs. Thurman turns to face me.
“You need to sign these papers and then we will be on our way. We have a long drive back and want to be home before dark.”
Stepping forward, Mrs. Moore reaches for the bundle in my arms.
Everything within me screams ‘No! Don’t take her yet! I only have a few more minutes before letting her go forever.’ Yet, knowing I have no other choice than to let this total stranger take my beautiful little one out of my arms.
“Where do I sign?” reaching reluctantly for the pen being pushed toward me. Lifting the ballpoint from page to page, I begin signing my name on the dotted lines. Every stroke of my signature is a reminder of my failure. Signing the last sheet drives the final nail into the coffin holding my broken, dying heart. Enviously looking at the woman now holding my infant daughter, I listen to Mrs. Thurman explaining procedures and processes.
“You have thirty days to change your mind. However, in all honesty Virginia, you have made the right choice. I understand it’s tough but it’s the best thing for her.”
“I know. There’s so much I can’t give her. She deserves better; a mother and father, a home and …” my words trail off as tears fall and no more words come.
Reaching out to hold her one more time, I gather this small innocent sleeping bundle close to my heart. I never knew it could hurt so bad to do the right thing.
“Renee, I love you; but I can’t give you what you need. I am so sorry. Someday I hope you can forgive me,” softly kissing her little pink cheek.
“Virginia, I know this is hard but we need to go. Please give her to Mrs. Moore.”
As quickly as these two women entered the room, they stepped out the door and shut it. The creaking hinge and the doorknob latching in place reaffirm they are gone with my baby.
Flinging myself on the bed, I no longer care if anyone hears my muffled cries.
“Lord, I know this is the right choice. I don’t want my baby to suffer for my mistakes. She didn’t ask to be born. Please protect her; she deserves so much more than what I could ever give her. I beg You, let her be adopted by Christians who will teach her about You and Your love.” crying and praying at the same time. Deep inside I know it has to be in His hands, I no longer have any say in her life.
Entering Mrs. Thurman’s office thirty days later prepared to sign the final paper work; my resolve is still the same. I must let Renee go! It’s not about me or what I want; it’s all about protecting this innocent life. Therefore, with heavy heart, I once more pick up the pen.
“Where do I sign?”
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