The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/17/06
Even though I'm not exactly clear on what that 4th box was, I could definitely feel Frank's conflicting emotions--you did a very good job of showing, not telling (the scratch marks beside the box, etc.) I liked this story.
04/19/06
I like it too. It has a great message. Separating your paragraphs will be extremely beneficial to your story and your reader. I love your pictures of setting up goals like bowling pins. Great stuff.
04/20/06
Some really good writing here.

I would like to have a few things made a little clearer. Like, to know he was reviewing and checking off a written list of goals, and what goal no.4 was - why was Jenny the reason it wasn't fulfilled.

Great messages, good witness - well done!