The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/03/06
What a wonderful, faithful mother! I've had a similar scare, and I didn't face it nearly so well.

It's obvious that you paragraphed this correctly, but in FW universe, an extra "enter" at the ned of each paragraph will put that lovely white space between them.

Lovely story, full of grace.
03/03/06
An interesting way to bring someone back to the Lord. Nicely written, attention holding. One suggestion - please put white space between paragraphs for reading ease.
03/05/06
A powerful moment and turning point in the daughter's life. Here transitions were a bit abrupt (even for a teenager). You portrayed her frustration at not being in control very well. Good effort!
03/05/06
Some really great dialog here. Some proofreading (and lines between paragraphs/speakers for an easier read) and this will be even better. Very real characters -I really liked it :)