Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)
TITLE: Homeless Angell
By donna robinson
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It would have been a simple good deed but he followed me out to talk. I knew that human contact must not come often to him. He asked me if I was spiritual. There was a time I would have immediately boasted I was indeed spiritual. I could tell he could see my hesitation as I said a little. He told me that he had a problem with lines and too many people but he was spiritual. It would be an interesting conversation. He talked about having gone to Jerusalem and I might have doubted it but I noticed the battered briefcase in his hand and thought maybe at one time life had been different for him. He had an interesting way of looking at things but finally I said I had to go and we said goodbye.
As I walked away, I wondered about myself. Spiritual feelings were now very controlled as I no longer had any illusions about the receiving line of faith. The outflow of caring for others had kept his normal pace; I had just controlled the intake of faith. It was either that or become cynical and chance losing it all. I used to tell God I didn’t mind the mountains He presented to me. I didn’t always like climbing them but I had learned to look for the pockets of gold in the climbs. It was simply a life time of mountains with no valleys in between. I was tired and I had finally had enough.
So the free spirit child inside no longer ran free. I took control and limited how much pain she had to endure. I thought about my drugstore man. Despite his condition, he was still letting God have control. Yet, I could no longer do that and I had to smile at the irony of it all. God had control with his life but he was a little bit crazy too and I wondered if that is all it took, just being a little bit crazy. Regardless, the man and I seemed to have one more thing in common—despite the different roads we took, neither of us seemed to be at peace with the world. What I had accepted finally was that Control always had a price. Some would say God’s control gave better dividends. At one time I might have agreed. I took one quick look back and wondered if God had sent an angel to me. I smiled thinking it did seem to fit his sense of humor lately…
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