The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/18
Is this perhaps a true life-story? I get the feeling something is missing. One can understand why the person feels broken, but I'm sure that her prayers must have been answered, even in small ways. It would be interesting to hear about this.

Keep on writing!
You did a good job of telling your story. Tension at the beginning turned to encouraging success. Keep praying and trusting in the Lord to be with you through life’s journey.
If this is a true story I am sorry for your hurt. Keep focusing on Jesus to bring complete healing. You have great potential in writing.
12/13/18
I think your writing could heal many others. Too many kids today are hurt by bullying. Your writing piece is raw and you bare all so both sides can see for themselves your story. They can see themselves in it too I believe. Whether they are the ones hurting or the ones doing the hurting.

Please keep writing. Keep being Brave and don't give up. God never gives up on us.
You precious child of God! I was also quiet and shy as a child. You are well on your way to overcoming and others who are hurting will be able to follow your example.

One sentence I thought could be written differently is this one:
"As a child I was a shy child who kept to herself." You might like the sound of it better if it was written like this: "I was a shy child who kept to myself." (It's a small change. See which way you like it better.)

Thanks for sharing your encouraging story. And the Lord will help you. He is already helping you. He never leaves you, and feels everything you feel. One day He will look you in the eyes, wipe away your tears, wrap you in His arms, and say to you, "Well done."
12/14/18
Life has many trials and tribulations. Keep writing. I think if you say your writing outloud after you write it you might find ways to improve it. I like the path you are on.
12/19/18
Writing our stories can be very healing. This is a good start. You got the facts laid out. And I hope some of the pain is lessening as you heal. (I'm assuming this is true.) Now I encourage you to distance yourself from being the wounded one and look at your story from a story tellers perspective. Play around with the first sentence, the first paragraph. This sounds like a first draft, and I'm sure you can turn this into a piece that can give hope to others with similar wounds.