The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/23/18
Good take on this week's topic. Let's face it, we've all been there wondering why our prayers weren't answered in the way we wanted while our friends seemed to receive all that they petitioned for. Powerful last paragraph. Just a couple suggestions...I'm not for sure I understand the first sentence of the second paragraph. He went to his closet but his knees were on the beds? My second suggestion might even take away from your story, which I don't want to happen, but maybe some dialogue with the prayer warriors and then showing how he felt instead of telling might draw readers in more. Still, lots to think about especially since I'm a natural complainer and whiner.
Wow this is stunning. You did an amazing job of making me think. I love your take on the topic and think it works really well. I could totally relate to the MC. I'd love to see some dialog too, either the prayers said or discussing feelings with someone else. That also would give you a chance to add body language or thoughts. Your message is a great one, especially relevant in today's world. Keep writing and I'd challenge you to read and leave constructive feedback on every story in this level and a few on the others too. You've done a great job here.
What a great lesson - thanks for sharing.
07/26/18
Congrats on your second place in Beginners. Well done.