The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/10/18
Great encouragement to shut down the noises and tune in to the Father. This piece would make a nice devotional. Maybe pay close attention to spelling and punctuation. Great job!
05/10/18
Beautiful words and message.
Blessings~
The message is great. Watch out for misspelled and missing words. Also watch your tenses.
I will show you what I mean. You can run your work through Grammerly to help you. This was a good article. I placed in parenthesis the words I saw to give you examples with. Keep writing you get better and more polished in time


So much noise can go on in our lives that we could lose our focus on listening to His voice speaking to us. But as I experience, noise isn’t just something we hear, but also can be something we see or fell(feel). Noises can tend to affect our thoughts and our emotional feelings, as well.

When I mention the word “noise” I don’t only mean the sound that surround(surrounds) us, such as chattering of a crowd or loud traffic of vehicles passing by. But I also think of the noise we intentionally involve ourselves in. Such as cranking up the volume on a stereo. But as mentioned before, noise isn’t(doesn't) always refer to sound. These noises can refer to constant use of our phones, texting, internet use. Having to view TV screens, etc.

When we have a goal to be in God’s presence or to listen for His voice. Or even to be reading the Bible. Being surrounded by such noise can honestly distract us from achieving such goals, because it draws us away from Him.

Jesus has shown a good example of being in God’s presence, by fasting for 40 days. As we may know, fasting usually involves being without food. But if you were to look up the definition, you will find it mostly is defined as “being without.”

I often learn to fast for an hour to several days depending on how I am led, by the Sprit(spirit). But often the fasting involves no use of TVs or other electronic devices for a time. No communication with others, or perhaps no participating in activities such as hobbies or projects.

Jesus mentioned about going to an inner room or closet to pray to God in secret (in Matthew 6:6). Although we may know His teaching is about not seeking the attention of others when we pray. He also direct(directs) a way to avoid noisy distractions that we may be heard by God and hear Him speak to us.

So, let us take the time to avoid the noise more often that we may hear Him more clearly. The result will be that our relationship with Him will grow greater and our walk will be much closer, as we seek.


You make some great points in this piece. I can totally relate to what you are saying. I liked how you said, When I mention the word “noise” I don’t only mean the sound (sounds) that surround us... I thought you might also include internal noise. I know I have a voice in my head that screams at me: You're stupid, useless, fat, a burden, and on and on. I also noticed you had some incomplete sentences, which are fine in dialog, but you might want to avoid using them in a more formal piece (for example: Such as cranking up the volume on a stereo. and Having to view TV screens, etc.). Avoid abbreviations like etc. too. I think if you went back and counted how many times you used the word noise, you'll be surprised. Don't hesitate to grab a thesaurus or switch up your sentence structure to avoid repeating the topic word. Some of the best entries are ones that never use the topic word. I like the idea of a modern fast too. I think we all could benefit from those things that distracts us from God, especially in today's hectic world. You did great writing on topic, delivering a Christian theme, and a powerful message. I can tell you have a lot of passion and I believe that God will use your words in ways you may never expect. Great job.