The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/18
Great job on using this story for the topic! I like how you go from irritation, to running (and thinking) to the Easter celebration. I thought the irritation might rise, but it didn't, and I liked that. Only thing that could have made it a little stronger to me is to perhaps bring it back around to the beginning, connecting that back into the ending again. Nicely written.
This is really sweet. It can be hard to merge two different family traditions. I liked the explanation.
You may want to double space between paragraphs, write out numbers at least to ten, but many say to a hundred, and proof your story by reading aloud or better have someone else read aloud. If he stutters, you may need to tweak that sentence and you might pick up some errors or typos.

My mom had suggested we celebrate Easter and the holy meaning that Sunday, but the following week, we could buy candy at half price or less and celebrate Spring. I don't think we ever did it, but I liked the idea. We always read the Bible before the egg hunt or opening Christmas presents because that was most important. You did a nice job showing this message.
You did a great job at telling a compelling story. You're right, Easter has it's roots in paganism--we have merely "Christianized" it. Kudos to the grandmother! You write extremely well for a beginner. Might I suggest, however, that once you have finished writing, put it on the back burner for a an hour or a day, then go back to it and your eye will catch what needs tweaking, especially punctuation. Other than that, you did a superb job with your story and your competent writing capabilities. Keep up the good work as you are definitely a good writer!
You did a great job at telling a compelling story. You're right, Easter has it's roots in paganism--we have merely "Christianized" it. Kudos to the grandmother! You write extremely well for a beginner. Might I suggest, however, that once you have finished writing, put it on the back burner for an hour or a day, then go back to it and your eye will catch what needs tweaking, especially punctuation. Other than that, you did a superb job with your story and your competent writing capabilities. Keep up the good work as you are definitely a good writer!
Yes, we have to be careful how we judge how other people celebrate certain days.

I can see that you have spent some time on arranging your work so it was easier to read. Keep it up.
04/26/18
Well done!