The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was a very intriguing piece. Good job with the suspense and descriptions.
I felt like I could have connected more with the main character had there been some specifics as to what his choice was.
I enjoyed this, great job!
Decisions made. Emotions felt.
Definitely drew me in - however I left wanting to know more - I know that's a good thing however I want to know more! LOL
Congratulations on your 2nd place finish in the Beginners category, Rachel.

I liked your descriptive writing style.

I wasn't sure if your main character was male or female. It is a good idea to let the reader know this within the first few sentences. I also couldn't distinguish what mission the MC decided not to pursue. I believe in your quest to add mystery and intrigue; you left off some key pieces of information.

Keep writing!
I wanted to continue reading.... Congratulations