The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/12/17
Good job with the message and with tying it together at the beginning and end.

Red ink: put spaces between your paragraphs to make it easier to read.
I liked the opening sentences. It fit nicely in your story line.

Your story may have flowed more smoothly if you had broken up the paragraphs.

Many good points sprinkled in the piece.
All of this article is worthwhile but I see two distinct stories that could be separated and made into two distinct articles. The second part where you begin talking about the miscarriage could be made into the second article. You could expand it to tell some detail of how you used your experience to help those of similar situation.

You show good understanding of the Bible verse you use and could use it in both of these articles.

Good work. Keep writing.
10/13/17
You have some great ideas, but you've given us a slab of writing that needs para breaks to give us time to digest your whole package and reflect as we go. Keep on writing, to develop your obvious talent.
10/15/17
You had some very good thoughts. Take your time!

As I look over some of my first writings, I wish I had taken the time to read out loud, reread over and over, and have someone listen to it or read it before I sent it in.

You will kick yourself many times for not doing it. You put a lot of thought into trying to get others to react to your hearts expression in words, so slow down and you will be shocked at how those little mistakes vanish.

God bless and keep writing.
10/20/17
And we know that all things work for good for those who are called according to God's purpose.This is great