The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 237 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/07/17
Good job with the storytelling and description of the family's hardship. I would have liked a better idea of the age of the mc at the beginning.
Good job at pulling us into the story. I liked how you explained clabber in your entry.

Great job storytelling.
09/08/17
Your story was very engaging. Farmers have a difficult job.

I would have liked to know how old the MC was earlier in the story.
09/08/17
Excellent! Well done.
Blessings~
I liked your concluding paragraph.

It seemed that "Henry" could have been an imaginary person who lived in a rural setting during the time of the "great Depression", a family member or even the author himself.

There were several scenes that illustrated life during that time.

One paragraph was showing a contrast of thought. I think I would have written the sentence as follows: "Henry lived on a farm BUT he went hungry."

Nice writing.
I liked your concluding paragraph.

It seemed that "Henry" could have been an imaginary person who lived in a rural setting during the time of the "great Depression", a family member or even the author himself.

There were several scenes that illustrated life during that time.

One paragraph was showing a contrast of thought. I think I would have written the sentence as follows: "Henry lived on a farm BUT he went hungry."

Nice writing.
09/09/17
Great story of Henry as a work in progress and learning to shine. Well done; Keep writing.

Blessings.
09/13/17
One little change in the first sentence might work better for you - instead of repeating the name Henry twice, just say "he often muttered". I find in my writing, this works the best anyway. Great job describing depression years. My mom grew up on a small farm, that I often visited as a child too. She talked about the lard sandwiched they took to school and hard times. I didn't know what clabber was - thanks for the info! I assume the sugar was to dampen the sour taste of spoiling milk and help to stave off bacteria growth...yuk!
Jay,

Congratulations on 1st place in the Beginner category. You get to move up to the Intermediate division.

Your work keeps on improving every week.

You have a great storytelling ability so I look forward to reading your stories in the future.



09/14/17
Congratulations Jay!
Well done
Blessings~
09/14/17
Congratulations on your 1st place win in the Beginner's category. I look forward to reading more of your stories.