The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/29/17
Encouraging words! Thanks for your writing!

Blessings:)
08/01/17
​You have a good message in your story. I like that it ends with the main character (MC for short) making positive changes in her life.

Putting your story title in the text box counts against the number of words. It took me the longest time to change this with myself. This is an easy fix for you.

Punctuation was missing from your story, in places.
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You could tighten up your words, and avoid long sentences. For example, you wrote:
“Oh no, not yet.” Sandy groaned as she picked up her phone on the nightstand by the bed to shut off the noise.

Another way to reword this might be:
"Oh not, not yet!" Sandy groaned as the alarm blared from her phone. Her arm lifted toward the noise to shut it off.
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You could tighten up sentences and get the same point across. You wrote: "they ate whatever the special was." This could be reworded as "they ate the daily special." Your "beef gravy, noodles, and mashed potatoes," makes me hungry.
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Keep writing.
I like the title of your piece.

This is an example of growing in Christ. The Holy Spirit uses the message in God's word to convict people of sin. Repentance is the turning with the desire of doing the right things again.

We each may need this from time to time so we continue to Grow to be like Jesus.

Well done.