Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: NEIGHBOR (06/01/17)
- TITLE: good neighbors | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ekta Tiwari
06/01/17 -
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One of the most important characteristics of good neighbors is that they have a good living habit and are friendly to others. Being friendly is also an important nature of good neighbors. If neighbors are unfriendly they are hard to approach and difficult to get along with.
Another important aspect of good neighbor is that they should be willing to help others. In our life, emergency situations may happen, and we may encounter difficulties that cannot be resolved by ourselves. At this time the quickest help we can get is probably from our neighbors.a neighbor who likes to help others will get help in return. Help each other can form a friendly and harmonious relationship among the neighbors.
All in all, a good neighbor is someone who has a good living habit, it friendly and is willing to help others. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion that a good relationship among neighbors needs the maintenance from us.
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I particularly enjoyed how you pointed out that we all need to be good neighbours to have good neighbours.
I found though, that you could have cut or shorten some sentences to make your writing succinct. For example, if you cut the sentence, "Being friendly is also an important nature of good neighbors", the point you're making on the need of a friendly neighbor can still be found in the sentences before and after it.
Keep writing. You did well and soon you'll be going to the next level.
Blessings
But you did a great job, and certainly
I would like to give you a few tips on improving on your writing.
Take those points you used to describe a neighbor and create scenes and conflict. By putting a real live character or situation you paints the picture of a neighbor, good or bad.
I'd love to see you expand on it. Perhaps give an example of when you needed a good neighbor. For example, I used to be a nurse, but I never told my neighbor. When his girlfriend became sick and eventually died in the middle of the night, I regretted not telling them. To this day, I wonder if I could've helped during the 30 minutes it took to get an ambulance here. Now I tell my neighbors if they need help, call me. Sharing a personal experience will help pull the reader in.
Another thing I'd encourage you to do is to count how many times you used the words neighbor and good. I bet you'll be surprised. Don't be afraid to dig out a thesaurus. Some quick suggestions are friend, acquaintance, comrade, bystander, resident, homeowner. Of course, they don't all fit, but by looking them up, it might take you in another direction too.
Of course, tightening the sentences up will help too.
I'm glad you entered the challenge. You've a great start. I like your message too. It's simple, but often in today's world, the simple messages are the easiest to forget.
Keep writing and try reading and commenting on other entries too.
You made several valid points. I liked them; they are great reminders.
I encourage you to use the Preview button before you submit. That way, you can find some easy to fix errors (I miss some of my own too).
Some examples:
...from our neighbors.a neighbor who likes to help ...
There is no space between your two sentences (neighbors.a neighbor) . Since "a" is a word, spell check will not catch this.
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...someone who has a good living habit, it friendly...
"it" should be "is." Again, spell check will not find this since "it" is an actual word.
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Neighbors...good neighbour.
Consistency in spelling. In your first paragraph, you had two different spellings of neighbor. Spell check will not find inconsistencies;
You did a very nice job. I hope you find the above helpful. Good luck with the judges. Keep writing.
Blessings~
Keep writing and honing your skills. God bless!