The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/04/17
Nicely done and well written. A few sentences had words that didn't match with the era, and few grammatical errors. But overall, it had good flow.
Very interesting version of the story! Your writing is, very professional, artistic,soul reaching--what can I say-I really enjoyed it!
05/04/17
This kept my attention all the way through. Very well written and a nice flow. Excellent!
05/05/17
Excellent story and well done. I had to take another look to see if I was in "the beginner" category...I suspect you won't be in here much longer.

Well done.

Blessings~
05/07/17
A very good take on this story. I agree that you will soon move up into a higher writing level.

I think some of the paragraphs could have been shorter and maybe some dialogue inserted to give it more life and better flow. Enjoyed it. God bless.
05/12/17
Oh, oh, oh, . . . I saw it all. Yes, I saw it all. I was right there, you brought me right into it all. Oh, what pleasure! Thank you. Were you on topic, mmmm . . . less sure about that. Could you have tighten up some of those sentences a bit more . . . possibly. But, this is reaching because really you are one good writer. I don’t like to read, but I can hardly wait to make an exception for your next entry.
05/12/17
Oh, oh, oh, . . . I saw it all. Yes, I saw it all. I was right there, you brought me right into it all. Oh, what pleasure! Thank you. Were you on topic, mmmm . . . less sure about that. Could you have tighten up some of those sentences a bit more . . . possibly. But, this is reaching because really you are one good writer. I don’t like to read, but I can hardly wait to make an exception for your next entry.
05/12/17
Congratulations on winning 2nd place in the Beginners category, James.

Your story was a well written retelling of a Bible story. My one suggestion would be to add more dialog in the beginning; it seemed like the MC was telling us too much backstory.