The Official Writing Challenge
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You make some great points. It definitely makes me wonder what the world is coming to. It's good to write something that makes the reader think.
I'm not sure how the topic childhood fit in, but my brain isn't working at greatest capacity tonight.
Some simple things check are vs our and always write out words don't use symbols & or %.
You have passion in your words. Keep writing, read it aloud, rewrite and repeat until you run out of time or are satisfied. Good job.
03/18/17
Some very engrossing verses. It certainly makes you think. I couldn't see the topic in it. And the minor misspelled word "are" for "our" was a distraction. But it had a lot of merit in its content. Keep writing and make sure you cover the eight points the judges use to judge your writing. God bless and I will look for your next piece. God bless.
Poetry is a means of communicating emotion, thoughts and ideas. When it grabs a person it is hard to shake it loose. Continue to bring your thought to the surface for others to absorb.It is hard to get the rhyming lines consistent but keep working for it.

Good effort. Hard work demonstrated.