The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/02/16
Nicely said and written.
God bless~
You make some great points. If I'm being honest, you made me squirm a bit as I saw a bit of myself in your mother. The title and theme is spot on. I need to not be a right fighter.

My biggest red ink would be the overuse of the word puzzle. You can be spot on topic without ever using the topic word. Perhaps next time, pull out the thesaurus and use other words like perplex, baffled, mystify.

You did nail the topic and you have a clear message. I enjoyed the piece from beginning to end. I think you have a lot of passion and potential. I'd like to challenge you to read and comment on every entry in your level, then pop up to 3 and 4 and read and comment on five in those levels. The more you read and leave constructive feedback, the better writer you will become. You have some important things to say and the world needs to hear it.
This is an interesting personal life story. I did have to read it twice to get things straight in the story but that might just be my reading it without getting the pieces of the puzzle straight as I read. The second time it flowed nicely and came to a smooth ending.

As our hearts want to do things we know is right, God can provide the right time and place for us to put the pieces together so our relation with God smooths out as we learn what Jesus wants us to do and we don't fight it.

Nice writing.
12/04/16
My brother and sister once challenged each other to a "last word" competition. Each thinking that his or her way was correct. You are right when you say: "You might be right, but you could be wrong."

Are you still Hugs the Clown? I struggled a bit with that paragraph figuring out past from present.

I think you meant to write angel not angle.

I hope you keep writing because you have a lot of life experiences to share with the rest of us.
12/07/16
There are some very compelling life experiences shared here.

I found that this piece lacked focus--the first few paragraphs seemed to have one message, then there was another take-away in the middle, and still another lesson at the end. It would be more effective if all of your examples, illustrations, and experiences pointed toward the same take-away for the reader. As it was, I felt a bit bounced around.
12/08/16
Congratulations, Judy, on your 4th place finish in the Beginners category.

I think you have much to share and hope you continue to write.