The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
The short personal incident was easy to read. It flowed nicely.

There were two areas (at least) that gave me something to think about for my own life. Do I examine my self when I see others do something I don't appreciate? And do I encourage others even when I know they are doing well. These two things jumped out at me to remind me to always be looking at myself and learn.

Good encouragement to others even if it wasn't written for that purpose.
It's always interesting to hear others using the phrases and tones of our own speech, and you have captured that sense very well.
Your style is warm and very readable. But even a short story like this needs para breaks: after "child."; noticed.; quiet.; and "grand moms."
These breaks would enhance your readability - and keep your future, longer entries from becoming slabs of print that could dull their impact.
An engaging slice-of-life story many can relate to - thanks for sharing. I agree that paragraph breaks would enhance the reading experience.
Short, sweet, and meaningful! As a parent (and new grandparent) I can relate!
I agree that everyone could use some encouragement! Your piece had an easy conversational flow to it.

Please double space between paragraphs; my older eyes had trouble reading it.